Day Two: You Are Not An Accident
There have been so many things about my life that I have wanted to change. My weight, my hair, my occassional shyness in groups, my status as an only-child. I can think back over the years and check off a long list of things that I have wished were different about me at one time or another. Some things, like my weight, are things that I actively try and change...others I simply "deal" with.
It honestly never occured to me that I am the way I am because God wants me to be, or because He made me this way.
People who get to know me well and learn about all the details of my life have asked me before if I would ever want to go back and change anything if I could, and I always answer the same way.
No.
I truly believe that I am who I am today because of all the things I have experienced in my life. I would not change my parents, events that have happened to me or things I have experienced because they all happened to me for a reason. It was all part of God's plan for me and who I was to become.
One thing that stood out to me in the book was the sentence, "God also planned where you'd be born and where you'd live for his purpose." This is something that my husband and I have talked about often...why we are in Terre Haute, Indiana.
We moved to Terre Haute in 1997, away from all of our friends and family. We came here because I got a job at Indiana State University which enabled me to work on Master's Degree. When my degree was completed, we stayed in Terre Haute because Darryl and I both found good jobs. Now, seven years later after we arrived, we often wonder why we are still here. We have talked about moving back to Kansas to be with my family, or to Canada to be with his family, but there is something that is holding us here in Terre Haute.
Terre Haute is also where we found the church we now attend, and is ultimately the place where we have found the 40 Days of Purpose. Perhaps God placed us here for a reason...our purpose perhaps. I can't say for sure, but it is definitely something I think about.
Point to Ponder: I am not an accident.
Verse to Remember: "I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." Isaiah 44:2 (CEV)
Question to Consider: I know that God uniquely created me. What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?
As I mentioned before, there are lots of things I would like to change about myself. I have been a member of Weight Watchers for just over a year now, and have lost 82 pounds. I still wish to lose more. I think that it could be possible that God designed me to be "not skinny", but I still struggle with this part of my life. Perhaps there is something for me to learn about this part of my life that I haven't learned yet. Or perhaps I will reach my ultimate weight loss goal and my journey itself will be an insipiration to others. Perhaps my ability to be successful in this one area of my life will enable me to be successful in other similiar area of my life. All I can do is pray and trust that God will guide me.
Another area that I have talked to Darryl about that causes me some concern sometimes is how I often am "emotional" in "spiritual" settings. We always joke that I cry at the drop of a hat and if you give me a good Hallmark commercial on TV I can cry you a river. I find that expressing my spirituality with others is difficult, but maybe even in that God has a plan.
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