Day 35: God's Power in Your Weakness

Many people (including myself) often get down on themselves about what weaknesses they have in their life. Anything less than excellence for some is just not good enough. Everyone has something that is a flaw in their life, or they wouldn't be human. I think the hardest part is just admitting it. And for some (here I am again in this group), admitting weakness is terrifying, even to ourselves.

Don't get me wrong. I am pretty open about some of my weaknesses, but I think there may be other flaws that I have that I haven't even truly allowed myself to embrace, so when I think about being honest with other people about those areas of my life....I get scared!

I sometimes think to myself, "How on earth can God use THAT to help someone else?" But you see, that is just it! Only God can. I could try and take my weakness and make something good out of it, but I would fail. Without God in my life to use me and my flaws, my flaws would simply be just that....a flaw.

The concept of being content with my weaknesses is also an area that is scary to me. All my life I have been raised, and then taught in school, that we can overcome anything if we just put our minds to it. That is partially true, but not fully. Some weaknesses can be overcome, but some never can because God planned them as part of our lives. I need to look and see which of my weaknesses are possibly self imposed, and which ones the Lord has placed in my life for a reason.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: God works best when I admit my weaknesses.

Verse to Remember: "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9a (NIV)

Question to Consider: Am I limiting God's power in my life by trying to hide my weaknesses? What do I need to be honest about in order to help others?

Any time we hide or deny a weakness, we are shutting off an opportunity to show how great our God is. There are many weaknesses that I have that I need to be honest about, but as I said in the beginning of my entry, perhaps I need to try being honest with myself first and then once I have a grasp on my flaws, I can begin to share them and work to influence others.

Day 34: Thinking Like a Servant

This chapter made me pause and reflect about myself and my ability to serve a bit more than the others. The other chapters instilled excitement in me about the opportunities I will have to serve, but this chapter made me stop and reflect a bit more about who I am rather than what I could do.

The key is attitude!

Do I have the right attitude? Am I secure enough in who I am and what I want to do that I won't be falling prey to thinking that is NOT servant like? Perhaps I need to really think about myself and make sure I understand where I am in my walk with God before I go rushing headlong into a service that might not be right for me or that I might not be ready for. I am not sure...but this chapter gave me a LOT to think about in terms of what I can do to try and think more like a servant.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: To be a servant, I must think like a servant.

Verse to Remember: "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus." Philippians 2:5 (NIV)

Question to Consider: Am I usually more concerned about being served or finding ways to serve others?

In reality, I think I do a decent job of looking for opportunities to serve others, but also in reality I must admit that most of those times are while I am at work. And, let's face it....I get PAID to serve others sometimes. I want to take time to think about my Attitude. I want to see the opportunities to serve and be willing to step up. I want to become secure in who I am and in my relationship with God.

Day 33: How Real Servants Act

Once again, this was a great chapter with a pretty tough lesson. Service isn't just about how we feel when we are serving, or what we personally like to do, but it is all about WHAT we do and HOW we do it.

I was encouraged to know that even "small" service is something that is appreciated and needed in the family of God. It is more about how we perform our service than what we actually do. Our service, great or small, needs us to be available, attentive, dedicated, faithful, humble and willing to work with what we have available to us at the time we are called to serve. These are hard characteristics to achieve, but possible with practice. Just as I can learn to serve by doing, I can also learn how to serve in the right manner with the same practice.

The one thing I want to make sure that I remember for myself as I prepare for service is that while I am actively working to identify my primary ministry, I need to remain open and available to secondary ministry, even if it happens to be something I am less than excited about. Warren said that while we may not be gifted for a particular task, we may be called on to provide service if no one gifted at it is around. I need to be careful not to "shut off" any opportunities to serve just because I think someone else out there might be better at it. Perhaps all that is needed at that particular moment is me!

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: I serve God by serving others.

Verse to Remember: "If you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded." Matthew 10:42 (NLT)

Question to Consider: Which of the six characteristics of real servants offers the greatest challenge to me?

I think the biggest challenge for me is the faithfulness of my service. As Warren noted, most people don't know the meaning of commitment. I struggle with commitment in a lot of areas, and I suppose service would be the same if I allow it to be.

Something I else to keep in mind when thinking about service is once again that phrase from the beginning of the book, "It's not about you." Service is all about serving others...helping where we are needed, providing what we can and doing what needs to be done.

We wanted to share a little of our feast with everyone, so feel free to print off as many plates as you can handle!!! Hope everyone is enjoying time with their families!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Day 32: Using What God Gave You

I was relieved to read today that jumping in head first and helping out with different ministries is a good, and even recommended way to get closer to discovering your personal ministry. As I mentioned in the last few entries, I am not sure what my ministry is because I am only now beginning to look at myself as having abilities and gifts that can benefit other believers and the church, but I already knew somehow that just getting out there and doing would help me find my way.

I liked the thought of actually sitting down and making a list....thinking of my abilities and the things I am good at, trying to pinpoint my spiritual gifts. I think asking Darryl to help me review those when I make a list would be a good thing. Perhaps we will even have our own "life review retreat" as Warren mentioned.

The one thing I want to make sure not to do is to compare or conform as Satan tries to tempt me. In my career it is often very easy to compare the work that I do to the work others do in similar positions to mine. It is also a place where conformity is sometimes the norm because I work as a team member in a department. I need to be cognizant of the fact that this is my ministry for God and some of the "rules" that go for my job don't necessarily have a place here. I want to be confident in what I am doing, yet avoid pride and I want to be sure I am honoring my uniqueness at the same time.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: God deserves my best.

Verse to Remember: "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the work of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV)

Question to Consider: How can I make the best use of what God has given me?

I think the first step in that is sitting down and making a concerted effort to think and pray about what my skills and abilities and gifts are. If I do not take the time to fully examine what I have to offer, I may overlook the one thing that could be my whole ministry...the one thing that only I can do. I also think getting in there and serving somehow will begin to give me a taste of my many options and help me focus on and pinpoint where my strengths really lie.

It sounds like an exciting time of discovery ahead!

Day 31: Understanding Your SHAPE

If you really desire to be used by God, you must understand a powerful truth: The very experiences that you have resented or regretted most in your life - the ones you've wanted to hide and forget - are the experiences God wants to use to help others. They are your ministry.

I remember listening to Rick Warren speak that very paragraph from his book almost verbatim during the Simulcast at the beginning of this bible study. I also remember being very nervous, and thinking to myself that I didn't like the fact that God may want me to share some of my hurtful past with other people. I remember being very nervous about possibly having to reveal those painful experiences to other people, but if it could be my greatest ministry, then how could I not share my experiences?

In a way, I already am. I write here daily on my blog...some days are more positive than others. Some days I am excited by what I read, some days I have doubts and fears. Some days I don't feel that I have much to say, some days I feel I write too much. In the end, I think I have found a good way to use my talents and abilities to do something good for me and for other people.

I hope that as I continue examining my SHAPE, I will find other more direct ways to minister to those around me. I want to be a contributing member of my church and help it become the functioning body that God wants it to be. I want to make my unique contribution to the Body of Christ, because like Warren said...if I don't do it, no one will.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: Nobody else can be me.

Verse to Remember: "God has given each of you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other, passing on to others God's many kinds of blessings." 1 Peter 4:10 (LB)

Question to Consider: What God-given ability or personal experience can I offer to my church?

I think as I get to know the church better, I will be able to see what their needs are, and I can better find a way to offer my service. There are many things that I could potentially do because I have many interests, but with time and increased fellowship, I am sure something will present itself.

Day 30: Shaped For Serving God

Thanks for the comments Kim! I am glad to know you enjoy our posting here. I find it a very easy way to reach out to people in a non-intrusive way, and it is good to hear positive feedback! This book has already taught me so many things that I didn't know before, and I am excited to continue learning.

Today made me even more excited in fact! This chapter was exciting to me because I feel like I am getting closer to hopefully pinpointing something that I can do to serve God and my church. I enjoyed thinking about what spiritual gifts God has given me. I generally find it much easier to pinpoint my natural abilities over my God-given spiritual gifts, but this chapter made it a lot easier to think about with Warren's beginning discussion of how to find our SHAPE.

There are many things in my day-to-day life that I am enthusiastic about and some things I am quite effective at, and just as Warren said, these are all things that are close to my heart. I am passionate about them, and personally invested in them when I work on them. I hope to discover what my spiritual gifts are that can bring me the same feelings of excitement and fulfillment when I use them to serve God and others.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: I was shaped for serving God.

Verse to Remember: "God works through different men in different ways, but it is the same God who achieves his purposes through them all." 1 Corinthians 12:6 (Ph)

Question to Consider: In what ways can I see myself passionately serving others and loving it?

I am not sure yet, but one thing that excites me is that our church and community has so many opportunities, so that if I do not pinpoint something immediately, I can try and few things out first. One thing that I want to keep doing through the 40 Days of Purpose and possibly beyond is this blog writing and sharing my thoughts. Not only does it help me with monitoring my growth, it might be possible that it can help someone else, too.

Day 29: Accepting Your Assignment

I can't figure out if this chapter was "scary" for me because I feel I don't know what my assignment is yet, or because I am afraid to stop making excuses and just get out there and serve! Warren noted that many Christians have moved beyond the point of learning and are just "sitting there" rather than putting their knowledge into practice. I feel I am just beginning to learn about God and his plan, so service is still scary to me as a concept, but that doesn't mean that I am exempt from it or have nothing to offer. "There is no small service to God, it all matters."

This chapter also reminded me of the first line of the first chapter....."It's not about you." While sitting back and letting our needs take precedent over everything else may be a natural inclination, it isn't going to get us very far in our spiritual growth, or in our relationships with God and other believers. We need to take time to think about how we can serve the church and each other. For me, I need to pause and think about service and significance as Warren suggested. Perhaps I put too much emphasis on work...or my free time....or my hobbies. I need to really think about what is significant to me in my life, and if God and my church is significant, then service should be as well.

While I am nervous about beginning this section of the book, I am excited at the same time to do some thinking about what my service to the church could be.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: Service is not optional.

Verse to Remember: "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God has prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

Question to Consider: What is holding me back from accepting God's call to serve him?

I think the two things that holds me back from jumping right in and finding a way to serve is that I still think that I do not "know enough" to be able to serve. I feel sometimes like I don't know enough about God or his Word to effectively minister. The other hang up I have is simply my emotions. I find my whole walk with God to be very emotional and I worry that my sensitivities will bother other people.

One part of the chapter that really spoke to me, however, was the last page where Warren listed out many of the people who served God and had "problems" of their own. It really made me smile and know that I can be successful in service, too.

Day 28: It Takes Time

"A delay is not a denial from God."

I am glad that was written on the last page of this chapter as a reminder to myself that I need patience as I grow in my walk with God. Often I find myself frustrated because I feel so far from where I want to be, but as the last page also said, "Remember how far you've come, not just how far you have to go."

I know God has a plan for me. I also know that my decision to go back to church, to start spending time with God and learning more about His purpose for my life does not mean that I am instantly where I should be in terms of my spiritual growth. I have a lot of work to do. Changing habits can be a hard thing. I may not be able to see the end result of my journey, but God can! And, if I trust him, and allow him to build his little "beach head" in my life, then I know I can't go wrong.

I just need to remember my patience!

I think one of the pieces of advice that I would like to take from this chapter is the concept of keeping a journal of lessons learned so that I can go back and look at my spiritual growth. I have experienced this already with the very blog that Darryl and I write on each day. When we first started this project, my intention was to use my abilities with writing and web design to share my journey and growth with others. What I didn't expect would be the effect it would have on me. I have plans to sit down and re-read this entire blog from beginning to end to see my progress and remind myself of what I have already learned in such a short period of time. I re-read the first few days and was amazed at the things I was already learning then. Warren was right though...."the reason we must re-learn lessons is that we forget them." Had I not gone back and re-read my entries, I might have not ever remembered the things I learned on those days.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: There are no shortcuts to maturity.

Verse to Remember: "God began doing a good work in you, and I am sure he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again." Philippians 1:6 (NCV)

Question to Consider: In what area of my spiritual growth do I need to be more patient and persistent?

The one area that I need to be more patient with is my understanding of the bible and its lessons. My persistence in learning more about God's Word will help with my patience. As I learn more, my confidence will grow and I will see my progress. But it takes time.

Day 27: Defeating Temptation

I find it very true that whatever we focus our attention on becomes more and more a part of us, so it would stand to reason that if we continually focused on a temptation (even if it were in an effort to overcome it) then that temptation would become more a part of our life. I have often found the most effective way for me to overcome temptation is simply to switch gears....do something else, talk about something else, put some music on and sing....I do something different than what I was doing at the moment of temptation...it helps.

Talking about our temptations is indeed scary, but I think that Warren is right when he says that whatever we talk about is already out of control in our lives. If I can't talk about it, not even to Darryl, then it must truly be a problem for me. I need to think on that a while.

I don't have a lot to write about this chapter, but it did give me a lot to think about in terms of how I can step up and overcome my temptations with God's help. Having a spiritual partner to talk about my issues with will likely be a big help.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: There is always a way out.

Verse to Remember: "God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it." 1 Corinthians 10:13b (NLT)

Question to Consider: Who could I ask to be a spiritual partner to help me defeat a persistent temptation by praying for me?

Ohhhhh Daaarrrryyyylllll....actually, Darryl would be a good person for me to start sharing my temptations with. Not the every day ones that I have no trouble talking about, but the ones that I hold deep inside and try and fix on my own. Since they are still here, it is time I acknowledge that me doing it on my own isn't getting anywhere! It is time I ask for help on overcoming my temptations.

Day 26: Growing Through Temptation

I read this chapter with an almost heavy heart. I know all too well the temptations that exist within me and the ones I have allowed myself to act on. But, knowing that God is there for me when I need him made me see that the weight of these temptations is not something I have to bear alone. And as the last page of this chapter said, "When you stumble - which you will - it is not fatal." THANK GOODNESS! I know it is impossible to avoid temptation in my life, but it brings me much peace to know that it won't be the end of me.

I think the thing I need to really remind myself is that temptation simply provides the choice. I have the power to make the right choice, and even when I don't feel strong or able to make the right choice, I can call on God for help. I never have to be embarrassed to seek God's help, and in fact I should seek it, because he sees it all happening anyway!

I thought Warren did a great thing by suggesting that we take time to stop and think about our temptations. For me, my temptations tend to be focused on a particular thing, and so if I stop and think about the When, Where, Why, How of my temptation, I can better help myself overcome the temptation by avoiding it in the first place.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: Every temptation is an opportunity to do good.

Verse to Remember: "God bless the people who patiently endure testing. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12 (NLT)

Question to Consider: What Christlike character quality can I develop by defeating the most common temptation I face?

Temptation lies within everyone. It all begins with a thought, and then as Warren noted, we have a choice. My most common temptation (and the one that I give in to the most) is one that could be defeated most often if I could develop the Christlike quality of self-control. Or rather, I should say that I would develop self-control if I can overcome my temptation.

After we were done reading, Darryl mentioned that he thought it was interesting that the tool that Satan uses to tear us down is the same tool that God uses to build us up. I need to remember that every temptation I overcome is not only relieving me of that temptation at that moment, but it is also building my character!

Day 25: Transformed by Trouble

This was a bit of a tough chapter. I don't like to sit and think about why bad things have happened to me, or why I have had pain in my life. But...after reading this chapter...maybe I should spend more time thinking about my trials and tribulations. After all, if I ignore them or deny them, how can I learn from them?

One thing I take GREAT solace in is the fact that God never makes us endure these trials alone. We never are stuck out there and forced to solve it on our own. He has planned our lives for us and is willing to openly share it with us (good and bad) if only we are willing to look to Him and try to learn from what we are going through.

One quote I particularly liked from the chapter was from Corrie ten Boom, the Nazi camp survivor who said, "If you look at the world, you'll be distressed. If you look within, you'll be depressed. But if you look at Christ, you'll be at rest!" I think that is so true. I can not recall how many times in my life I have turned to everyone else but God to help me through my struggles, and often the worse times in my life were those cases where I turned to no one but myself...and ultimately struggled even MORE to overcome. I want to look to Christ for strength and understanding...I am tired of searching faces out there for answers.

I also learned from this chapter that my patience will be tested in this process! "Character building is a slow process, " Warren says. Oh boy! I will definitely need to spend some time in prayer asking God to help me be patient and look to him for the purpose behind my trials rather than trying to solve them on my own, or worse...trying to avoid them.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: There is a purpose behind every problem.

Verse to Remember: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 (NIV)

Question to Consider: What problem in my life has caused the greatest growth in me?

I would have to say the problem that has caused the greatest growth in me was something that I do not wish to publicly discuss here, but in my heart I recognize and understand it for what it was. The problem was one that eventually resulted in me going back to church and making an active effort to have God become a part of my life. It was a problem that persisted for quite some time and would have had a completely different outcome had I chosen not to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit and continued to try and solve the problem on my own. One lesson I learned is that God never turned away from me, even when I felt I had turned from Him. The Holy Spirit truly worked in me to help me see the lessons of my situation and the purpose behind the problem I was facing.

Day 24: Transformed by Truth

As I was reading this chapter, I was reminded of a session that I went to at the conference that I attended toward the beginning of this bible study. The conference is a regional professional organization for college and university housing administrators from Indiana, Illinois, Ohio and Michigan. Delegates from public and private schools all convene once a year to discuss issues in Housing and Student Affairs, which is our umbrella division in the field.

I attended a session on linking theory to practice. We got into small groups and talked about how we would solve certain situations, and what student development theories we would put into practice as part of our resolution of the problem. We were talking about a situation that involved students and an errant staff member, and were discussing a popular theorist, Arthur Chickering, whose theories deal with stages that people go through as they grow and develop. One gentleman who worked at a faith-based institution shared how theory can become a struggle for him because when his staff or students come to him, it is the bible that they use to seek the answer to their problem, not some theorist from a student development book. He said that his staff want to know where in the bible it addresses the issue and what God has to say is the proper behavior for the given situation. He laughed and said a quote so memorable for me, that I share it with my colleagues often. He said, "Chickering ain't no Jesus Christ!", and I have to agree.

I think it would do me well to stop and think about the things that I use to guide my life, my actions, and my thoughts and behaviors. Is it some of the unreliable authorities that Warren mentioned like culture, tradition, emotion or reason, or is it my peers, my family, or simply my stubborn self? I am not sure if I have developed a solid blue print for my life yet, but this chapter definitely makes me see that the Bible needs a more prominent place in my life than it currently has.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: The truth transforms me.

Verse to Remember: "If you continue in my word, then are you my disciples indeed, and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." John 8:31-32 (KJV)

Question to Consider: What has God already told me in his Word that I haven't started doing yet?

For starters, I haven't spent enough time in God's Word. I haven't been fully allowing its presence in my life. When Warren talked about the 5 ways to be transformed by the Word of God, I stumbled a bit on the research section. For a long time in my life, I was all about "Question Everything." I think that was practically my motto. My problem was that I would question so hard and so extensively, but would fail to stop and listen to the answers to my questions. I am hoping that this time around I can be more open and see the Bible for what it is...the truth that my life has been seeking.

Day 23: How We Grow

I liked this little chapter because of its BIG message!

Choosing to becoming Christ like and grow spiritually is a commitment. You have to make a decision that you are going to think and act a certain way, and then as a person you have to add your half of the effort to the equation...God doesn't just change us in a puff of smoke. We have to give our effort and dedication to the process.

Probably the most relevant few sentences in this chapter for me were on page 181: "Behind everything you do is a thought. Every behavior is motivated by a belief, and every action is prompted by an attitude." How true this is!! I can sit here and think to myself that I know all about God and I know about my faith, and I understand what I believe, but when it comes right down to it....does my attitude show it?

As I continue to work on continuous worship with God, and work to strengthen my fellowship with other believers, I am hoping that my thoughts, and my attitudes will begin to change enough that my outward actions will show my commitment to God and my relationship with him. I feel pretty good about my ability to think about others, but I know that my thoughts and attitude are not Christ like at all times....and how could they be? I am a sinner like anyone else. But...what can make me different is my commitment to change and grow!

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: It is never too late to start growing.

Verse to Remember: "Let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God - what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect." Romans 12:2b (TEV)

Question to Consider: What is one area where I need to stop thinking my way are start thinking God's way?

I allow myself to have limitations. Often I am the only one holding me back. It is my human mindset that creates many of my own struggles and obstacles to overcome. It wasn't until I was typing today's "point to ponder" that I realized that I am the one who stopped my spiritual growth. God never took his hand away from me. It was always me and my internal dialogue with myself that allowed myself to stray so far from Church, and it is my own internal thoughts that cause many of my fears and doubts even now. The first thing I need to start doing is talking more to God and asking him to work with me on changing my internal thoughts...it really never is too late to start growing!

Day 22: Created to Become Like Christ

I sometimes have to remind myself that discomfort in my life, along with trials and tribulations, has a purpose. I think too often I seek to relieve myself of these burdens or obstacles without ever thinking about why they are there in the first place. I need to remember that these things are put here to test me, and growth will be the ultimate result.

Life is not about me. That is sometimes hard to remember.

The hardest part of this chapter for me was the part about needing to cooperate with the Holy Spirit. Taking that step of faith is often the hardest part for me. God has yet to fail me, but when trust is an issue for a person, putting yourself out there can still be scary.

I liked the concept that becoming more like Jesus is an active process that requires participation. I can't pray and go to church on Sundays and read my little study book and then wait for good things to happen to me. I need to exercise MY responsibility in the process and do what I can to be more godly: changing the way I act, think and behave. I used to scoff when I would see bracelets and stickers and things with the initials WWJD (what would Jesus do) on them, but the more I think about it...the more I realize that rather than scoffing, I need to be applying that concept to my life!! What WOULD Jesus do?

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: I was created to become like Christ.

Verse to Remember: "As the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more." 2 Corinthians 3:18b (NLT)

Question to Consider: In what area of my life do I need to ask for the Spirit's power to be like Christ today?

As I have mentioned before, relationships are something that I struggle with. Even after reading that one of the purposes of my life is to love God and love other people, I still struggle with those other relationships. I think that this is one area that I need to ask God for assistance with, because I still am struggling with my effort.

One thing that I read in this chapter that I was very reassured to read was that spiritual growth and maturity is not something that happens overnight or as soon as you ask God for it....it can take your whole lifetime and then sometimes you still aren't all the way there. I am glad to know that while my progress may be slow, and sometimes I think I am getting nowhere at all....I actually AM growing and maturing...step by step!

Day 21: Protecting Your Church

Today is the 21st day I have been reading this book. 21 days in a row I made time to read and study in order to discover my purpose. I have heard somewhere before that it takes 21 days for an action to become a habit. I can definitely say that after 21 days, this book and its lesson are becoming more than just habit, they are becoming part of my life!

Today Darryl and I took this past week's lessons to heart and stayed for Thanksgiving Dinner after worship service this morning. The smell of the turkey and all the wonderful foods everyone brought would have probably been enough to get us to go downstairs anyway, but I couldn't help but think that fellowship has to start sometime...and today seemed as good as any!

I have been a part of a church that split because the members were more concerned about personal agendas and gossip. I can remember waking up one Sunday when I was about 16 years old and my mother telling me not to get ready for church because we weren't going. Now, being 16 years old and not really ever allowing myself to be involved with the politicking and the grapevine that existed in my church, I had no idea of the turmoil that had lead up to that Sunday. That Sunday was the day my step-father would be resigning as the pastor of the church. To this day I still do not know the full story of what happened, I only know that conflict tore the church apart and my step-father chose to leave the congregation. I think that I prefer not to know the whole story.

I have suspicions that our current church may have gone through some issues like this in the past as well. I have heard remarks here or there during service, or in places around the church...and it leads me to think that perhaps this is a time of healing for FBCNTH. All I know is that I am ready to do my part in helping the church heal. I want to help build my fellowship with other members, and help the church unify.

I heard Pastor Carey talk about his daughter today and it really made me reflect on my own personal experiences in the past year or so. My biggest obstacle (in my mind) to coming back to church was the Church itself. Not necessarily THIS church, but the concept of church in general. This chapter and my experiences in recent weeks have shown me that the church can not only be a great source of strength and inspiration for me as I begin my new walk with God, but it can also be the picture of a family that I have longed for and missed for so long.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: It is my responsibility to protect the unity of the church.

Verse to Remember: "Lets us concentrate on the things which make for harmony and the growth of our fellowship together." Romans 14:19 (Ph)

Question to Consider: What am I personally doing to protect my unity in my church family right now?

I am still getting to know my new church family, but one of the greatest things that I am working to do to protect it right now is simply to allow myself to keep an open mind. I am working carefully not to judge anyone that I meet, not to find myself listening to any information that might not be appropriate, and not to allow myself my usual tendency to pull back and try to worship on my own. I am allowing myself to share my experiences and learn from the experience of others, and I think that is a good place for me to start.

Day 20: Restoring Broken Fellowship

I have to wonder as I look back at relationships that have faded away or fallen apart due to conflict, and wonder how many of them might have been a result of me having an unmet need that only God could satisfy? I wonder if I have ever allowed conflict to create riffs in relationships simply because I was seeking something and was missing something in my life that a particular person likely couldn't provide me with anyway...only God could.

One of the biggest things I got from this chapter is that rebuilding my fellowship with other people isn't just about resolving past conflict (although if that happens, that's a bonus!) but is more about reconciling the relationship itself. In some cases, the original conflict may continue to exist and we have to work on agreeing to disagree, but as long as we focus on being open with each other, sharing our feelings, and are willing to sacrifice of ourselves for the relationship, then we our fulfilling our purpose to love each other and fellowship together.

I also enjoyed the gentle reminder that how we approach the person, and how we work at repairing the relationship says as much about who we are as Christians as it says about our commitment to working on overcoming our conflict. I want to be known as someone who is willing to trade in their arsenal of "relational nuclear weapons" and is willing to be honest about the need to rebuild my connection to someone.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: Relationships are always worth restoring.

Verse to Remember: "Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody." Romans 12:18 (TEV)

Question to Consider: Who do I need to restore a broken relationship with today?

I think the hard part about identifying a relationship for me to restore is being honest about whether a relationship is one that actually suffers or not. Some people (me being one of them) sometimes deny or avoid the fact that a relationship may be in danger, or may have suffered. Perhaps I need to examine my current relationships and make sure there aren't any of them that could use some of the "tough medicine" from this chapter as Darryl called it after we got done reading today.

Day 19: Cultivating Community

Because fellowship and community is based on relationships with other people, it was easy for me to read this chapter's characteristics of fellowship and think of relationships in my own life where these traits have become important and even vital to those relationships. I have a friend right now that could use my honesty probably more than anything else in her life at this moment, simply because no one else we know is able or willing to step up and be frank with her about what is going on in her life. I know this is something that I should do. For her. For our friendship. And for my own growth. Doing it isn't as easy, however!!

I really liked the part in the discussion of courtesy that talked about reframing our thinking so we aren't always concerned with how far someone has to go, but rather we notice how far they have already come! I have to be sure to remind myself to not only do that for others, but to do it for myself! I know my development and growth as a Christian is going to be different than Darryl's, the same as his is different than mine. We each have work to do, but we have already done so much already!

Overall, I just think that the key is to remember that at the base of fellowship and building community in small groups is relationships with God and relationships with other believers. If we give our time, effort and commitment (along with all the other characteristics) to the group and the members in it, then our fellowship shall become powerful indeed.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: Community requires commitment.

Verse to Remember: "We understand what love is when we realize that Christ have his life for us. That means we must give our lives for other believers." 1 John 3:16 (GWT)

Question to Consider:How can I help cultivate today the characteristics of real community in my small group and church?

I work at Indiana State University with freshman on-campus housing. I have 30 student staff members that live and work in two buildings that are made up of 20 floors of communities. All first-year college students. One of the things that we constantly do work and training with these staff members about is how to build community on these floors. We ask these student staff members to make a huge personal commitment by becoming an active part in the community themselves, and we also equip them with the skills needed to facilitate participation in the community by members of the floor.

Just as it is in any of the 20 communities in my housing complex, I need to make a commitment to my church community and small group, and I also need to participate. To share myself with them and accept them as they share themselves with me.

Day 18: Experiencing Life Together

Darryl and I both agreed after we read this chapter, that it was the most difficult chapter for both of us so far in this study. Since we have only begun to attend church regularly a short time ago, we have not yet had a chance to develop intimacy with any members of the church. I have a hard enough time just remembering people's names!!

One thing that made me sad, and that I talked to Darryl about was that when I read this chapter, I couldn't help but think about him and I....that even in our small group of two....we do not fellowship. I think the hardest part of the concept of fellowship and experiencing life with others is that it requires me to do two things that have always been very difficult for me. One is to share myself with others...to be open, honest and outward about all my struggles. The second one is to allow myself to be vulnerable to another person. That is a hard thing to do. Even with other Christians. Even with Darryl.

An interesting note: I just re-read the two paragraphs above (I mentally spell check as I write HA!) and I noticed something about the two things that I feel fellowship with other Christians will require. I noticed that they were both framed in a negative context. I would have to share my struggles and be vulnerable. Well, now that I sit there, I start to think that I could also share my joys and my triumphs! I could share steps forward in my walk with God, and I could learn things from other people. And perhaps allowing myself to be vulnerable isn't even so bad. I could look at it in terms of allowing myself a growth opportunity by letting people see me..all of me...the real me. Just an interesting side note.

One concept that I liked in this chapter was that of experiencing sympathy in real fellowship. It is sometimes nice to know that I am not alone. It gives me strength to know that there are others who have had the same issues that I have had, and it makes me feel good to be able to help someone who may be experiencing something that I had overcome in my own past. The key is not to focus on my own issues, but to be open to giving and receiving at the same time.

I have never really been a part of a small group like a Sunday School class because my church attendance was so varied as I mentioned before, but I am looking forward to experiencing more as we continue the study. I also look forward to trying to explore more fellowship with Darryl in out small group of two.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: I need others in my life.

Verse to Remember: "Share each other's troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2 (NLT)

Question to Consider: What one step can I take today to connect with another believer at a more genuine, heart-to-heart level?

I think I did that today by telling Darryl that I didn't feel we really shared and fellowshipped with each other in the way that God intended for us to do. It was hard for me to bring that up, because I still fear judgment or vulnerability. But, if I can't be open with him...then who can I be open with?!?

Day 17: A Place to Belong

There was a period of time in my life not long ago when I would tell people that I was more of a "spiritualist" rather than a Christian. I told them I believed in God, that I believed in his word, but that my biggest issue had to do with the assembly of believers called Church. I had allowed myself to get so far away from church and let my relationship with God deteriorate to the point that I felt that I could still be a good Christian even if I did not attend church.

How wrong I was.

I am not sure what it was about the church we attend now that made me want to go. I think it was the friendly faces, the acceptance of us with no questions asked, the contemporary music, the multi-media sermons...it was the whole package. First Baptist Church of North Terre Haute was the first church we visited when we moved to Terre Haute in 1997, and it was always the church we went to when family came to town and we needed to go to church on a Sunday morning like "good Christians" did. But, when it came time for me and Darryl to get serious about renewing our walk with God, it was also the first place we turned.

Perhaps my issues with church stemmed from never having belonged to a church as an adult. When my step-father departed as the pastor at his church back in Kansas, I was only 16. The church did not have a functioning youth ministry while I was there, so I was more of an "attender" rather than a member. I was never really involved in much even thought I attended Sunday mornings and evenings with my family. After that I kind of "floated", especially once I went to college. Not having a church family allowed me to rationalize more and more things that were acceptable to do, yet I still felt I was being a "good Christian."

When we began attending FBCNTH, all I wanted to do was sit in the back, sing, listen and then leave. It was enough for me just to go and listen and begin to renew my walk with God. When I heard of the 40 Days of Purpose, I knew this was the way for us to get involved. This would be the key to not only helping us personally as Christians, but also would help us get to know the church. I am so thankful we started attending when we did, or we could have missed an incredible opportunity. Just being around other members and hearing what they have to share about their lives lifts me up in a way that I have not experienced in a long, long time.

Thank you First Baptist Church of North Terre Haute!

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: I am called to belong, not just believe.

Verse to Remember: "In Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others." Romans 12:5 (NIV)

Question to Consider: Does my level if involvement in my local church demonstrate that I love and am committed to God's family.

I think that it is beginning to. We haven't been attending regularly long enough to participate in many things, but this bible study is the first step. I have seen or heard about many things in the church that I think would be good for us to begin to explore, and I am sure that as my relationship with God grows, my involvement in and attachment to the church will to.

Day 16: What Matters Most

As I mentioned a few times now in this blog, relationships are one area that I have neglected, often to the point of letting them fade away. Sometimes I have even neglected budding relationships causing them to never develop. This chapter reinforced what I already knew....I need to fix this!

I have always been very aware of how I treated others....even strangers that I didn't know in the store, or driving down the street. I just always assumed that this was part of some kind, caring nature of mine that made me a nice person. I think that it might be possible that I was just doing what God intended me to do, and didn't know it...I was spreading my love.

The time thing is my biggest challenge and something that I will have to really look at. I need to think about how much time I have been willing to invest into relationships, especially those relationships with fellow believers.

The book mentioned that "relationships, not achievements or the acquisitions of things, are what matters most in life." When I went home to Kansas to visit family in October, I went to a new library expansion in the city where I grew up to visit a new art gallery they had built. They had an extensive photo exhibit there of a man and his daughter. They were from rural Kansas and the father had chosen voluntary poverty so that he could spend every possible moment of time with his daughter. For him, being at home constantly with his child, and getting to share every moment of his time with her was more important than anything. Their life reflected this in the pictures...poverty was indeed their lot in life. But if you looked closely at their faces in the pictures you could see something else...love.

I hope to gain a better grasp of love as I grow closer to God. I want to be able to give of myself and of my time so that I can show those around me that I love them, and that they are important to me as well.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: Life is all about love.

Verse to Remember: "The entire law is summed up in a simple command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Galatians 5:14 (NIV)

Question to Consider: Honestly, are relationships my first priority? How can I ensure that they are?

As I have said before...no, they are not. But I recognize that, and have been making it more of a priority over the last month or two...even before I began this bible study. I want to be able to spend time with someone and walk away remember the details of their life...who they are...what they are interested in. That means focusing less on myself and more on them. I need to give myself and my time and attention to them rather than just expecting them to give themselves to me.

Day 15: Formed for God's Family

I attended the same church for about seven years when I lived at home in Kansas, but I can't say that I felt a connection to that church family that surpassed or even meant as much to me as my own earthly family. Don't get me wrong...I know who everyone was, I participated in church functions, and I fellowshipped with the other believers there, but I don't think I really saw them as a "family" to me. Perhaps it was because of my age, or my lack of understanding of what being a Christian is all about.

Knowing that there is always a place for me in God's family gives me comfort. It is nice to know that no matter what is going on with me in my own personal life, with my earthly family and friends, or at work, my family in Christ will be there for me.

I am just beginning to meet the people at our new church, and have been comforted by the fact that the church has been so welcoming to Darryl and I. We even had our pictures taken for the new church directory! I haven't had my picture taken in a church directory since I was in junior high school and posed with my parents! It feels good to belong, and I think we have chosen a wonderful place to begin to grow as Christians and interact with our eternal family.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: I was formed for God's family.

Verse to Remember: "His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ." Ephesians 1:5a (NLT)

Question to Consider: How can I start treating other believers like members of my own family?

This is a bit hard for me. As an only child, I tend to be a bit on the private side, not putting myself or my feelings out there (hard to believe that with me writing like this every day, isn't it?!?). But I think the best way is for me to just practice sharing myself with other believers. Beginning to open myself up to get to know others, to share my experiences, and to learn from theirs.

Day 14: When God Seems Distant

I am not sure if I have ever felt the absence of God in my life. But, then again, I have never had a truly solid walk with God, and in many ways, I am still a child in my development of a relationship with him.

In our small group this morning, we talked about memories we had from childhood about church and our images of God. Many shared their experiences growing up in Southern Baptist churches and knowing a God worthy to be feared. Class ran out of time, and I didn't have an opportunity to share that for me, it was slightly different.

I can remember taking myself to church when I was younger...sometimes going on my own without any parents. Walking or taking a church bus to a church in town when I was in 3rd and 4th grades. My mother remarried to a Southern Baptist minister when I was in 5th grade and of course attendance at his church became regular for me. The one big difference for me, was that the God I always heard about and knew was not a God to be feared. He was one of love, and one that would do great things in your life if only you had faith in him and accepted his word.

The only thing I think I really missed along the way was that I am not sure I understood that I could have a relationship with God....a personal relationship. A friendship! I didn't quite understand that there were things that I had to do on my half of the relationship. I think I assumed that if I became a Christian, God would take care of everything else, and I would be home free. I am now learning that this isn't the case, and that my years of neglecting my half of a relationship with God has brought me to a place where I am indeed a Christian, but am a quite immature one.

I don't always feel close to God. Some days I still struggle to even think about him consistently. But this study is truly helping me understand my role in not only worshipping, but in the other aspects of a Christian life, such as fellowship and ministry.

It is scary for me. I sometimes wonder if there is anyone else out there who doubts and fears and questions everything as much as I do. Darryl assures me there are, but sometimes I look around and wonder how I ended up in a place with people who seem to know so much about God's word and seem to understand how to have a solid relationship with him. I am thankful for this book, however, because it has begun to answer questions for me that I might have never known the answers to...simply because I was never ready to ask.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: God is real, no matter how I feel.

Verse to Remember: "For God has said, 'I will never leave you, I will never abandon you.'" Hebrews 13:5 (TEV)

Question to Consider: How can I stay focused on God's presence, especially when he feels distant?

I think that when the time comes for me to be truly tested, I will most likely turn to Darryl for help. I am very lucky to be able to turn to him with questions, and concerns and fears. He has helped me so much in this journey, and I know he will continue to when I need him most.

I think I will also have to make sure I make a committed effort to take time each day to purposefully focus on God. Just as I strive now to keep God in the center of my daily life, I will hopefully continue those same techniques even when I don't feel God reaching out to me.

The Sunday that Darryl and I started attending church together again regularly a few months ago was a Sunday when our pastor was out recovering from surgery. Members of the church gave testimonials during the morning service. There was one family who spoke...I do not remember their names, and have not had a chance to meet them yet. The husband had found out he had cancer. He and his wife spoke of how the church helped them, how God helped them, and how their faith has helped them through this ordeal. One thing that I remember him saying that I have recalled many times during these past few months was when he was talking about how when he was first diagnosed with cancer, he thanked God for allowing that trial to be placed in his life. He said that at first he did not really feel the thankfulness, but he prayed it anyway because he knew it was the right thing to do. In time, he began to really BE thankful for that trial in his life, but it was not easy.

I often find myself doing things to try and build my relationship with God that feel foreign, or that I do because I know I should, not because I want to. Perhaps some people may say that is insincere, but to me I do it because I know I should....and I know that as I do it more, and begin to really believe and understand it...it will help my faith grow. It works for me now....perhaps it will continue to work for me in times when I will need it most.

Day 13: Worship That Pleases God

Once again, I read my chapter only to find God using it to address a fear or concern that I had prior to reading it. Earlier this evening, Darryl and I were watching last week's small group video and listening to an audio tape of last week's sermon since we had to miss church on Sunday, and I began talking to Darryl about a somewhat emotional issue for me.

I have always been deeply moved by experiences that involve God, the church, spirituality...all of "those things" and I told Darryl that I get worried sometimes that other people will think I am odd if I get really moved about something and cry. He said that no one would judge me for the way I happen to worship...and the book reinforced that today.

God cares that our worship is authentic. Period. And if me crying when I am moved by a thought or a feeling is what is authentic about MY style of worship, then I am doing what he asks of me. I am, in fact, worshipping the way that he created me to.

I like that there is no "one-size-fits-all" approach to worship and friendship with God. I feel that I struggle enough as it is, and if I had to worry about fitting myself into a cookie-cutter shape and style of worship that other Christians have, then I would likely be so overcome with stress about conforming, that I likely wouldn't be able to worship at all!

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: God wants all of me.

Verse to Remember: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and with all your mind and with all your strength." Mark 12:30 (NIV)

Question to Consider: Which is more pleasing to God right now - my public worship or my private worship? What will I do about this?

Right now I feel that I have work to do in both my private and my public efforts to worship God, and I am hoping that my efforts alone are being noticed and pleasing him. I think my sincerity and openness pleases God, but I know that I still hold back on occasion, and that my half-heartedness does not please him, so there are definitely areas that I can continue to work on. I am hoping that continuing to talk with Darryl and that the small group time will help me with this journey.

Day 12: Developing Your Friendship With God:

As I was reading today's chapter, I found myself thinking of a couple of different things that didn't necessarily have to do with today's lesson. The first was something that Darryl and I have talked about before, and I once again thought about today. I am beginning to think that this whole Purpose Driven Life campaign must truly be powerful in its ability to change people's lives, because it seems that Satan is tempting me everyday to not want to read. I find myself coming home from work tired, not wanting to read, not wanting to blog, etc. Which leads me to think that perhaps Satan knows how powerful this message is, and he is doing everything he can to try and tempt people from giving themselves fully to this study.

The other thing that I have noticed is that at each and every step of the way through this journey, God is addressing my fears, doubts and concerns through this book. Just yesterday I blogged about how I worry about my style of prayer, and today I read that God prefers simple honest and true emotion when dealing with him rather than predictable, pious cliches. I can think back to at least 6-7 different occasions in the last 12 days when I have had concerns and the very next day, I read reassurances in the book from Rick Warren. If that isn't telling me something, then I don't know what is!

The reassurance that I got today was more of a reminder than anything. I have blogged before about how I struggle to keep and maintain relationships. I have let some of the best friendships of my life fade away into the past because I did nothing to actively keep them going. I could have called, wrote a letter, sent an email, or made a visit, but never did. Now, this doesn't mean that I didn't think about the person(s), because I always do, but my point is that I never took action.

The book says, "You are as close to God as you chose to be." I need to remember that! It is MY choice. God will hold out his hand to me, but if I never take it, or if I take it and then let go...then I have no one to blame but myself. If I am worried about nurturing my relationship with God, and if I want to truly be his friend, then I need to make an effort!

The last part of the chapter focuses on the fact that nothing should be more important than developing a friendship with God. Although I know I have accepted Christ into my life and am a Christian, I can honestly say that I have not always made a friendship...or heck! made even a simple relationship with him a priority. That needs to change. I am glad he is patient, and doesn't expect perfection.

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: I'm as close to God as I choose to be.

Verse to Remember: "Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you." James 4:8a (NLT)

Question to Consider: What practical choices will I make today in order to grow closer to God?

I think I can start today by just talking honestly with God as the book suggests...no holds barred...open my heart and my soul and talk to him. About my fears, about my doubts, about my hesitations...perhaps there is even fear and anger in there. Whatever it is that keeps me on the edge needs to be given to God frankly. Sounds like a good place to start to me!

Day Eleven: Becoming Best Friends with God:

It is almost hard for me to believe that we are one fourth of the way through this bible study. Already I can see and feel changes in my life, in my relationship with Darryl, and in my walk with God.

I am thankful that God wants to be my best friend. I like that rituals and ceremonies aren't a big part of spending time with him. Just last night I was telling Darryl that I worried about the way that I pray, because I was concerned that I didn't "do it right" because I use more of a casual, conversational tone during prayer than quoting scripture or addressing God by various names such as I have heard other people do. Darryl assured me that my prayer style was fine, and I am glad to read in the chapter today that God wants that simple, loving relationship with us just as we are...no pomp and circumstance needed...just an open heart.

I generally am not hesitant to approach God at any time. I find myself saying little prayers in the car, or while out shopping or just when something pops into my head that I feel I need to pray about, but one area that I know I could work more on is the concept of being in constant prayer. I struggle mostly at work. I get so caught up with dealing with students, staff members, email, voicemail, my boss popping in, parents calling or whatever else is the emergency of the moment, and I often forget to pause and talk to God or even think about him. I am getting better, but know that this is one area I need to focus on. Perhaps using the technique of setting an alarm each hour to pause and reflect will not only strengthen my relationship with God, but will also help me reduce my stress levels that build throughout the day.

I especially like the part of the chapter that said, "The key to friendship with God...is not changing what you do, but changing your attitude toward what you do." I think this could not only do wonders for me in terms of my friendship and efforts to continually worship God, but I would venture to guess it would make the people around me more happy, too!!

I want worship for me to be like it was in Eden...a perpetual attitude rather than an event. I want to keep God close to me throughout the day and be able to talk to him, sense him and worship him freely. And one thing that gives me comfort is that this can be a learned skill! I nearly cheered when I read that! I thought, "This is something I can do! This is something I can learn! Hooray!" It also gave me great hope that I can become God's friend, because toward the end of the chapter, it said, "If you know how to worry, then you already know how to meditate." If that is the case, then I will be his best friend in no time flat, because I excel at worrying!! HA!

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder: God wants to be my best friend.

Verse to Remember: "Friendship with God is reserved for those who reverence him." Psalm 25:14a (LB)

Question to Consider: What can I do to remind myself to think about God and talk to him more often throughout the day?

I already feel myself becoming more aware of God and thinking about him more often than I ever did before. Darryl has really helped me with this, because we spend so much of our time together talking about God, listening to music, or discussing out daily readings, that I can't help but keep God close to me. But when I am at work, I am going to try and plan time into my day to pause and make sure I am worshipping God continually. I want to try and include God as I do my work rather than working all day "by myself" and then coming home to "be with God" in the evening.

Note: I have archived each day's posts, so that only the current day's thoughts will be on the main page...please click "Archives" at the top of the page to read past thoughts.

Day Ten: The Heart of Worship:

I am home from the conference after a long day on the road and am very tired. I don't really feel like blogging, but even though I was tired, I did want to make sure I read my chapter for the day. I made a committment to do this, and I want to honor it. It may not seem like much to some, but this is a big step for me, and I am trying to take it very seriously.

Surrendering is indeed a difficult concept for me to grasp at first. I am a self-professed "control freak" in much of my life, including my spirituality. I can see after reading the chapter that if I am to truly worship God, and fulfill his purpose for my life, I need to surrender. But it is still a scary thing to me.

I know I have done this before...with problems in my life, but not on a continual basis like the book mentions. I can remember calling Darryl on the phone a while back and crying to him, telling him about a big issue I was dealing with in my life. His advice was to "give it to God". And I did. So....I know it is possible for me to do. I just need to continue to build my relationship with God, to trust him, to open my life to him and eventually my total and continuing surrender will come.

I apologize for such a short entry today, but I would rather spend some time thinking about the chapter from the warmth of my bed than in front of the computer screen!

It is good to be home! :)

Day Nine: What Makes God Smile?

I do!

Perhaps not all the time, and definitely not for my whole life, but as I become more and more aware of the purpose God has for my life, I hope to make him smile more and more.

I have recently realized (since this summer) that I struggle to keep and maintain relationships. Other than my family, my husband is the longest relationship I have had in my life! Even my own walk with God hasn't been nourished or supported longer than the time I have spent with Darryl. I have realized now, that if I don't commit myself to a relationship with God, then I really can have no successful relationships at all!

When I read in this chapter all the ways that we can make God smile, I felt pretty "okay" with most of them....I can try and build my relationship with him, I can continue to trust his will for my life, and work to identify and use my spiritual gifts and natural abilities.

The one area that I need REAL help with though is the obedience piece. I suppose that I often doubt that I can even hear God when he speaks to me, but my real hope is that when I do hear his commands...I hope that I will be able to obey and not question or hesitate.

As I went about today, I tried to think of ways that I can do my work for God...how I can do the every day activities of life (specifically how I am acting/behaving/interacting at this conference) with praise for him. It was tougher than I thought it would be, BUT....I had it in my mind, which is more than I can say I ever tried to do before.

The biggest part of this chapter for me was the part that discussed how God enjoys us at every stage of our development. I am soooo lucky for this! If this were not true, he could have turned away from me a long time ago, and I would not be here today working to try and have a better relationship with him!!! And, if I am this happy and willing to work to please God and find my purpose now, then just imagine how I will feel at the end of this 40 days!!

I come home tomorrow and will see you all then!

Day Eight: Planned for God's Pleasure

You always hear about people who say "God has a sense of humor," and I am so glad that he does! If he didn't then our lives would be rather dull since we are made in his image!!

One thing that really stood out for me in this chapter, and has me pause, was the concept that everything we do should be considered worship. That everything we do in our lives should be done to bring him pleasure. That our entire lives should be public displays of our love for and our commitment to him.

Thinking about worship as a lifestyle is something that I think I may have difficulty with. I have generally been one of those individuals who only thought of "worship" as the activities that you do in church. I never necessarily considered it to just be the music part of the service, but I never really thought about how I can "worship" at any other time in my life. Thinking about doing everything as if I were doing for Jesus really puts that concept in a new light.

I also know that I have been guilty of being one of those half-hearted worshippers God complained about in Isaiah 29. There have been days that I dragged myself out of bed and went to church, not because I was excited to go and spend time with God, but because I felt I was "expected" to. Thinking now on those times make me realize that I must have been hurting God when I wasn't sincere in the time I was spending with him. This is something that I continue to strive to be conscious of.

Tomorrow is the last day of my conference, and I think that I am going to try and take some of the lessons of this chapter and try and be more aware of God's presence...to try and do everything for the pleasure of God!

Day Seven: The Reason for Everything

This chapter was a great "blueprint" for how to live our lives! Keeping the 5 purposes God has for our lives in mind makes our daily grind a little bit easier. As the book said, everything that we do should show God glory in some way, because everything we have and experience is made possible for us by Him.

As I sit here in my hotel room, frustrated by the fact that I can't get my latop to connect to my dial up server back home, I am trying to reflect and be thankful that I am even fortunate enough to be able to own a laptop and that I possess the skills to be able to share my thoughts across the miles with other people.

I am rather sleepy this morning, but I knew the rest of my day would be hectic and I wanted to be SURE to take this time and do my bible study. It was so refreshing to near the end of the chapter and read at times when I wonder if I have the strength to live for God, He will give me strength!! FOr that I am truly lucky!

And you know what also another pleasant suprise? Since I learned that we would have bible verse to memorize each week, I was worried...because I was sure I wouldn't be able to do it, but low and behold...I woke up this morning and know my verse!!!

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which he has prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

And I didn't even look that up!!! :)

Day Six: Life is a Temporary Assignment

Just a note that the next few days I will be logging in from Midland, Michigan as I attend the GLACUHO (Great Lakes Association of College and University Housing Officers) Conference. I wanted to make very sure that even though I am "on the road" for a few days, I was still taking time to do my daily readings and write my thoughts down...even if they are briefer than usual.

I like this chapter. It made me realize that the discord that I sometimes feel here in on earth is simply God reminding me that this indeed is not my home. I tend to get very attached to things, and let worldly things affect me more than they should. PErhaps I should follow that popular book and "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff."

This chapter also made me reflect on what success really is....or what do I think it is. Is it who people think I am, what I possess, what I do, or how I live my life? By focusing on eternity rather than the here and now, I can have more of what I consider to be success.

Rather than post the point to ponder and the daily bible verse, I will let you all know that for the first time in my life, I am actually attempting to witness to people...I have been sharing my experiences about my church and about this program with the people that I came to this conference with! What a first for me!!

See you tomorrow!